“I can’t do this!”
“I am not ready for this!”
“I could just turn around. That would be easy!”
“Don’t fart! You can’t trust your body right now!”
These are the thoughts I had as I climbed up a steep hill recently. Lately, I have been off my normal training schedule and have packed on several holiday pounds (double digits to be blunt). During this time I found eating and vegging out to YouTube to be a lot more “fun” than training. Well… I was going to pay the piper on this ride. I think it is more apropos to say I got my teeth kicked in on this ride.
My tribe has been on me to get back on track and start working out more regularly. So, when I was pushed to join an EASY Sunday ride, I decided to go out with them. Thirty miles was nothing. We would laugh and cut up all the way and I would feel like I had done something. What I realized is they LIED to me. We set out on a ride that had more than 3,000 ft. of climbing over 30 miles. Easy was not term I would have used. I can think of several other words to describe it that I learned while working construction but this is a PG rated blog.
We set off on our ride. I felt fine for the first 15-20 miles. The wind was in my hair. I was flying down the hills thanks to my additional bulk (never underestimate a fat guy in Lycra. I have written about this). I was testing the stretchy limit of my bike shorts. I felt alive again. That was until we made that faithful left turn. I knew this turn and where it led. I knew what was going to happen. I was going to the dark place and a free ride on the pain cave. Christmas was around the corner and it wasn’t going to be merry
Christmas Hill is a road that has insane climbs. This road is scary in a car and terrifying on a bike. There are sections that hit a 20% grade, which feels like trying to peddle your bike up a concrete wall, with boulders on your back. I have climbed this hill several times in the past, when I was actually in shape. My shape now was more of a potato and my wide load was moving towards the hill. It was more like an elephant on a bicycle than the Tour de France. I knew this was nothing like before, this was going to be all about will and pain management.
As I made my way up the hill at a snail’s pace, I told myself how bad it was. I told myself I couldn’t do it. I was mad at myself for allowing me to get in this shape. Then it hit me. All I have to do is turn around! I could coast down the hill and be back at my truck in time for lunch. I didn’t have to climb the hill. It wouldn’t require any effort to just go back the way I had come. It would be so easy.
Just as my legs stopped turning on the steepest part of the hill, I dismounted. I took a few seconds to rest and decide which way I was going to go. That is when I saw my tribe come down the hill to check on me. They were willing to climb this beast twice to support me. I gave them the thumbs up and was back to the grind.
I climbed Christmas Hill. I had made up my mind that I would see the top no matter how long it took. I stopped talking to myself and focused on the road. My focus was on a few feet in front of me. If I looked at the steepness of the hill it all seemed worse. I had to walk my bike up a few parts of the hill but I was going forward, not backward. I had not had to walk a bike in over 8 years but today I was eating a heaping helping of humble pie. I would stop to stretch my legs and get back on my bike. Finally, I reached the top with my friends. We took a moment and then turned to finish the ride.
I wish I could say that the rest of the ride was easy and I felt like a champion. The truth is, I wound up laying in someone’s yard two miles away from my truck. I was spent. My legs were cooked. But, my tribe was there and encouraged me to keep moving. So I did. That is what we do.
As I finished those last few miles, I thought about how this experience relates to school leadership and life. I really was focused on just turning around on that Christmas Hill. I started to realize that that hill was a lot like changes in our school and adversities we deal with each day. Your hill may be a curriculum change that you don’t agree with. It may be a troubled student or an angry parent that you dread talking with. Your hill could be professional relationships that are broken and need to be fixed. We could all name our hill to climb.
I can’t pretend to tell you how to climb your hill but I can offer suggestions to make it easier.
1. Don’t be your own worst enemy
I started this blog with very real quotes from that day on Christmas Hill. I was telling myself I could not finish this task. It was too hard. I was too fat. I was too out of shape. I was writing the dialogue to my own reality. What I was saying was become the truth.
Do not allow yourself to do this. Tell yourself you are the ultimate bada## and climb that hill. Controlling your thoughts and remaining focused will help more than anything else. Turn into the beast within and tell yourself to keep fighting for your goals.
2. Look for support
I was fortunate. My tribe came looking for me. They were willing to endure another bout with that hill to support me and make sure I was safe. We all have someone like this in our life. If you don’t, reach out and I’ll join your tribe! Look to those who you trust to support your efforts. Be real when you talk to them and expect them to be real with you. What they say may not always be what you want to hear but it is probably what you need.
3. Keep moving forward
This sounds simple but is so hard. You have to keep moving, no matter what. Even if it is walking a bike uphill slow, keep moving forward. It is so easy to turn around and to quit. Backsliding is easy. It feels comfortable to just allow yourself to go back to where you were. Growth never comes out of comfort. Anybody or any group can maintain where they currently are at. If you want to see growth, you have to push toward the uncomfortable.
4. Focus on small goals
I mentioned earlier about how I shifted my focus from the steepness of the hill to just a few feet in front of me. That was a game changer. I could see the small progress I had made with each turn of the crank. Change is like that. If you are always focused on the great idea or the huge goal, you may become overwhelmed in the enormity of it. When you shift you focus to small goals, you allow your mind small “wins”. You see the progression of the task in a real time manner. Chunk up that elephant into bite size pieces and get to eating.
Schools are more complex than ever. It seems, as educators, we are always in the midst of change, normally several. The world so much more complex and we must learn to adapt to the needs of our students. This requires change. As educators, we don’t have to like it. Trust me I didn’t “like” climbing that hill but I had to do it. We have to be willing to push up the hill. Our kids deserve our best effort every day. I would bet that many of you already have a hill or two in mind that you know it is time to climb. I applaud you. Now, put your head down and grind up that hill.
Next time- Part X Fighting the Great Data Demon
Till then,
Stay Sharp
Dr. S