There is an old saying for cyclists, “Keep the rubber down and the shiny side up”. This statement refers to the idea that if you can keep the tires on the road, you will have a safe ride. I mutter this to myself on every ride as a prayer for me not to end up as road pizza, in a ditch line, or flying head first toward the pavement like a lawn dart. The reality is sometimes you just can’t keep the rubber down, no matter how hard you try or how careful you are. In that moment, you are literally sideways and disaster is imminent.
In that fraction of a second, you have limited and critical options. Make no mistake, the outcome is going to be bad. You are going to get hurt. Your cycling shorts are probably going to get ripped, which means you are stuck, beat up and stranded on the side of the road with your “glory” exposed to the world. The movement and choices you make in that split second may mean the difference between painful road rash (you’ll survive and scars make you look tough) and a trip to the hospital (not only is this more expensive but you will be quietly mocked by the hospital staff for what you are wearing). The ground is getting closer! You have to do something, NOW!!!...
BOOM!!! CRASH!!!
AWW CRAP…
Well how bad is it?
It is amazing how things in a school can go sideways in an instant. I can’t count the number of times I had everything under control, only to fall flat on my face in the snap of a finger. Any school leader can tell you dozens of stories of times they were blindsided. It may be the conversation with a student or parent that suddenly takes an ugly turn. It could be the teacher who shows up drunk on a random Thursday. There is the surprise fight between parents on the baseball field on a Friday night.
Even though these situations seem to come out of nowhere, I can often look back and see what may have contributed to my painful situation. Maybe I worded my expectations poorly in a faculty meeting, which probably led to a couple of angry teachers standing in my office looking for blood. Maybe it was the follow up email to a parent after a conference, which unknowingly damaged the relationship because it was poorly timed or misinterpreted. I have had several instances where trying to implement things quickly and without full knowledge led to a quick and fast failure.
One of the most epic times I found myself sideways was the time I decided to do a book study related to student engagement and poverty. I thought I had picked out “good” books that would be helpful in the classroom. I grouped people together and set them off to discuss the book. What occurred was some people were meeting and others were not. I had not given explicit goals for meetings, so those who were meeting had little to discuss. Because I had not been strategic about my groups, there were some personality conflicts. I found myself getting upset and sideways because it seemed we were making zero progress on the topic. I had worked myself into a fury. I wanted to blame any and every one. Only in looking back, do I realize that I was the biggest factor to this wreck. More often than not, this is the case.
Several years ago, I had a bad bike wreck while on an 80 mile ride. I was in the final stages of training for my first Ironman. From what I have been told from my friends, I crossed a bridge and my back tire bounced on the transition between the bridge and road. My bike went sideways and I launched over the handle bars. I got up, beaten up and bloody. My bike shorts and jersey were blood stained and torn. I continued to ride with the group another 15 miles back to our cars and was transported to the local ER. The doctors told my wife that I had road rash and a pneumothorax (collapsed lung), a pneumomediastinum (air around the heart) and a concussion. This makes a lot of sense, as I have absolutely no memory of the wreck, the 15 mile ride back to the car, the hospital, or the next several days (scary, because I was at work the next morning). To this day, my buddies still laugh about how I would ask every five minutes “What happened?” as we rode back. The only other question I asked was “Did we get all the miles in?”. I guess I never lost sight of the goal.
After time had passed and my body healed, I started thinking about that wreck. I tried hard to answer the question, “What happened?”. It would have been easy to look at it as a freak accident, caused by a poorly constructed bridge or rocks in the road. I realized that the last memory I had was about 10 miles prior to my wreck. I was on top of a huge hill and stopped for some much needed nutrition. My final memory was throwing a couple of gummy bears in my mouth and riding on. There it was. I understand now what happened. I had not planned at all for an 80 mile ride on a 90 degree day and had forgotten to bring ANYTHING to eat. I remember thinking I didn’t need to eat because of the epic size of my manliness and my desire to cut weight for my race. Before I left on the ride, I threw left over gummy bears my kids had left in my truck from our movie trip the night before. My epic stupidity led to my not only “hitting the wall” but hitting the pavement. In simple terms, my blood sugar probably dropped. This probably wasn’t the entire cause but it was a contributing factor.
So, what do you do what the sh#% goes sideways? I suggest the following:
1. Prepare for impact
2. Assess the damage
3. Learn from you mistakes
The first is realizing you are destined for disaster and protecting yourself from serious injury. You are going to be hurt but you can lessen it by adjusting as you fall. In leadership, this may be simply preparing yourself mentally for what is coming. In many cases, it is wise to document the events to help you remember what happened. Who knows, you may get knocked goofy! I always let those who it may effect know in advance. That may be a call to the superintendent, a parent, or my wife. The key is brace yourself.
Once the damage is done, the second thing to do is assess the damage. This is where you ask, “How bad am I hurt?”. It may be a scratch or you may be on the evening news. I have had both. Once you can see how the event has affected you and your school, this is where you decide what needs to be done to move forward. You can solider on and tough it out. If the damage is too severe, you may need to throw in the towel. That is for you alone to decide. Always take into account the importance of your goal. If the goal is unimportant, let it go and move on. You will know in your gut when it is something that you have to fight in order to complete.
When you have healed and are out of the woods, this is where the smart leader looks at what happened and why. Even the most random occurrence has contributing factors that can be avoided. In schools, this is always the case. Fights tend to break out in areas with little supervision. Fraud is committed when supervision is lacking. Look at any and all factors to your failure. Don’t be obsessed with controlling everything but learn to be aware of how simple things can contribute to big events. Learning from your experiences will make you a wise leader in the future.
Getting sideways when leading is inevitable. The only leaders that don’t experience this are dead or not doing anything. When this happens to you, please take time to recover and gain perspective. Keep in mind that we can learn from everything and these experiences build our capacity as leaders. Don’t let the fear of falling keep you from ever learning to ride a bike.
Next week- Part IV- Never Underestimate a Fat Guy in Lycra!
Stay Sharp,
Dr. S